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Babies Come From The God Store

TweetI didn’t realize how disgusting the stadium floors were. Gum, smashed peanut shells, and a trail of toilet paper that led to a beastly man holding a tray of nachos. He did not go easy on the...

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Bows On Cucumbers

TweetMe: Hey, do you remember that story about the cucumber? Shawn: What story? Me: When I was working in the ER as a nursing student. Shawn: Oh God please don’t start. Me: Shawn you need to know this...

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The Tile Guy

TweetI can hear his feet above, carefully maneuvering around the cabinet corners and his hands smoothing the course dust off of the walls. It’s the sound of pretty. The tile guy. He was recommended by...

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His Heart

TweetThe smell of the wet soil was coming in through a draft in our bedroom window. I pulled the comforter over my shoulder and firmly pressed the side of my face against his chest and listened for his...

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Shawn Has One Job

TweetSince I was in and out of the doctors offices and the ER all last week and the fact that I can’t pull up my own panties, our home has gone to hell. We have dog hair tumbleweeds lining our hallways...

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No One Bakes Lasagna Like You Do. Don’t Tell My Mom

TweetIn January 1978, the country livestock rejoiced for a ten pound eleven ounce child was born; one that was so big that the doctors were surprised that he didn’t walk out of his mom’s uterus and...

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To Make Sure I’m OK

He drives home every single day for lunch. He says he needs a break from work but I know. I know that he rushes in his car to get here for the 10 minutes he spends at home quickly eating his salad and...

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The Boots

Our first Christmas as husband and wife was in 2003 and I was jacked on pain killers. You know the ones that you have to flash your government issued ID for at the pharmacy. They come with warning...

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